Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Confession: I'm scared.

I just spent the last hour and a half pouring over some of my old posts and hashing out a new training schedule for the Ogden Marathon that I'll be running this May.

I'm totally scared.

I've done this before!  I don't know why I'm all butterflies and jelly legs, but I totally am.  There are a lot of things that I love about the marathon, but there are a few things that make my knees go week, too.  I can't narrow it down to any one reason, so here's the short list:

  1. I have to do it alone.  I won't have Darcy to plug in all of those long runs with me.  Part of me is really excited to see what I am really capable of without someone pushing me forward or holding me back, however, that is a lot of time to spend by myself.  This loneliness leaves me feeling scared.
  2. Injury.  I ended up with IT Band Syndrome (again!) two and a half weeks before my last marathon.  It was frustrating, painful, and emotional.  I don't want to go through that again.  I know this comes with the territory, and this leaves me feeling scared.
  3. Training.  This is a lot of dedication.  Although I know I would be running anyway, knowing that you are "in training," and especially for a marathon, it all takes on a different feel.  All these little boxes and numbers in black and white freak me out a little.
  4. 3:30.  It's written in black and white.  On my training schedule.  By my bed.  It. Scares. The. CRAP. Out. Of. Me.
Here we go again....

What do you think is the scariest part of a marathon?  Distance?  Pain?  The unknown- or the known?


Coy Martinez said...

Each part of this reminded me of how much we were like. I wish you could have been around when I was getting ready for the Marine Corp Marathon back in October. My goal was to run 4:15 which is a long way from 3:30 but I came down with IT Band syndrome and fought it the entire training cycle. The only cure was for me to slow down and wear a strap around me knee. I went to ASTYM therapy 4 times the week before the race just so I COULD run in some amount of peace.

I know that all sounds crazy but I too ran and trained alone for the most part. I would have people run segments with me but I was usually alone for at least half of the run.

Trust in yourself!! I'm excited to see how things go for you! I've read about this race and it looks really neat!

Christina @ The Athletarian said...

I know that all sounds scary but you are SO capable!!! You are the true definition of a RUNNER! Marathons are scary and I have only done one. I applied to NYC this year and if I get accepted I think the scariest pert will be fear of getting injured. I can deal with the stress of having to train alone and such but my legs seem to hate me these days so I will have to make a huge effort to stretch/foam roll/yoga/strength train to ensure I am 100%!

Jamie said...

You can do it, just believe in yourself!

I haven't run a marathon yet, but my husband and I will be running Wineglass in September. I'm excited, yet nervous, about training!

Rachelle Wardle said...

Nothing about this is scary to me because you are 100% capable of conquering everything you list. Come down to UT county and do long runs with me?

In my opinion the worst thing about marathon training is definitely taking on the LR alone. I really hate that but you are strong and can and will rock it. You are incredibly smart and realistic and that is half the battle. :)

jclay said...

THose are all pretty scary things... but at least three of them are also really exciting! (Not the injury one... that's always my biggest fear and there is absolutely nothing exciting about painfully sitting runs out.)

I think it's the stuff that scares us that ends up being the most awesome. Anytime I'm half-scared, half-excited... I know it's gonna be good... or at least be a good story. :)

I think the scariest thing about the marathon is the unknown and the distance. I know what my body is capable of up to a certain distance... oh like 16-20 miles, but I'm just not sure what pace I would be able to maintain and still make it all the way to the finish before dying.

You're a pro though! You know your body and the distance and you can do it again and better! I'm totally rooting for that 3:30 or below! :)

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

Training is scary to me because you are really putting yourself out there, and come race day it's the final test! But you will be so prepared and you have such determination - I have full confidence in your 3:30!

Ali Mc said...

I am so excited :) and 320 is what I see :P ...for you! not me. for me I see "JUST FINISH IT" ;)

Suz and Allan said...

You are such a strong runner and I know you will blow 3:30 up! Focus on what you control and let go of what you can't and you will be fine!